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This is a variation on an Oldie"
A General
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound.
is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water, gives policy to God.
A Colonel
Leaps short buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a bull-dozer
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water if the sea is calm.
A Lt Colonel
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favourable wind.
Is almost as powerful as a Bulldozer.
Is faster than a speeding .22 bullet.
Walks on water in indoor swimming pool.
Talks with God if special Request is approved.
A Major
Barely clears Nissen huts
Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well.
Is occasionally addressed by God.
A Captain
Makes high scratch mark when trying to leap buildings
Is run over by locomotives.
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury.
Dog paddles.
Talks to animals.
A Lieutenant
Runs into buildings
Recognises locomotives two out of three times
Is not issued with with ammunition.
Can stay afloat with proper instruction
Talks to walls.
A Second Lieutenant
Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings
Says look at the choo-choo
Is not issued with a gun
Plays in mud puddles
Mumbles to himself.
A Non Commissioned Officer
Sweeps under buildings
Puts locomotives back on track
Picks up spent cartridges after speeding bullets have been fired
Is very close to God.
The RSM
Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off the track
Catches speeding bullets between his teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance.
He is God.
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Not just ONE thanks there Bruce, but a whole page of thank you's. How come I never read or knew about this earlier. I understand now why at the end of a range day or field firing day the NCO's running the day might suggest to the range Conducting Officer that he disappear for an hour while booking off etc etc - while they run the range and score-up AND use up the remaining ammo - properly!
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In the US Army system we also have junior and senior NCO's. Sergeant rank up to staff sergeant is junior, sergeant first class and up is senior. Same mess, only difference is when speaking to a senior NCO (as a junior NCO) you are supposed to be at parade rest, to an officer at attention in garrison. Because of the TDAs, it was very possible to have a junior NCO in a slot that a senior NCO would occupy, especially in reserve headquarters units, based on skill sets (computers). In those situations that rule did not seem to be applied all that rigorously because of the nature of the work. The gods of NCOs were first Sergeants and Sergeant majors, you never failed to observe every formal rule, though to be honest you very rarely ever saw them or if you did it was rare to have them speak to you. Oddly enough in that environment you spoke more to officers than Senior NCO's.
Also an odd tradition is that no one messes with Warrant officers, CW II and above. The lived in their own special world.
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This special breed must be the same the whole world over. Where do they get the book from which they learn those pithy sayings and humiliating put-downs - from which there is no return
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The sayings are handed down through generations. Most didn't remember too many, some of us remembered a whole book full. The troops I had still talk about the sayings I used, most of them learned from my elders when I was very young.
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XXX's and that book......... I was at Deepcut Bks one bright sunny morning........ well it WAS bright and sunny until I heard the roaring of the/an XXX along the corridor. I'd gone to a meeting re a demo shoot that was to include a Vickers for the benefit of a couple of 'loggie' Officers who had stumbled over some old belted Mk7z plus my old pal Major John Bxxxxx. So it had the makings of a good outcome
All sat quietly in the office drinking a sickly brew when the XXX started to vent his spleen over something obviously critically serious...... And it was....... One of the miscreants had dared to appear at his door, ready for OC's Orders at 10 o'clock had a bit of fluff '.....somewhere'. Instead of a quick look over and maybe saying that he could have tried a bit harder....., Nope! The whole world was learning what a sad little heap of xxxx he was and how dare he even walk on the XXX's carpet looking like a sack of xxxx tied in the middle with bailing twine and...... and off he went into some verbal spacial orbit.
I whispered to Major John 'what the xxxx's gone on and wrong there John.......'. He whispered back '......don't whisper so loud, or he'll be in here next.......'
Happy days or is it just '.....character building' as they say. I have to say, it'd have been a great Coy HQ if all the blokes here were part of it. You'd occasionally get a great bunch together all on friendly what we used to call 'outside office hours first name terms' who'd just gel and things'd run like clockwork
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I agree in hindsight that some things weren't done exactly right, but they've changed now...so...
