Another one Bites the Dust.

You know, people have a hide dying without asking my permission....They probably know I'd say no you can't.

So one of my old ASM's left yesterday, I remember this one well, he had the temerity to stand behind me one day on parade and quip me about my hair length..."Yes Sir, Just trying to keep it the same length as Yours SIR".....(Silence...) Carry On Sgt.

I seem to be running out of old comrades, they fall by the wayside more these days.....back in the 70's they were chopping themselves, the 90's saw a few falling to some dogs diseases caused by crap we used to handle....and those that made it this far...well, we spend our time trying to stop the current young buggers from succumbing to the Black Dog.

I spent a bit of time mentoring a few returned lads, not as easy to get into their heads as it was in my time, back then you were taught to hate your enemy, now the poor buggers don't really know who the enemy is, man woman or child.

I lost one I was working with, that put me back into a bad state myself for awhile, bloody memories are hard to supress somedays. Recently lost a family member, three months back from the sand... guess he's in a better place, he should have asked my permission though. I would have said NO.

Mate, no words. I know what you it is you feel. Been there. Words? I have none.

Vietnam has come back to haunt me in a personal and physical way. Our old friend Agent Orange stopped by and left me a present - metastatic melanoma, Stage IV. It was diagnosed this April exactly one year after my wife died very suddenly and unexpectedly. And yes, I'm still mourning her passing and getting used to being widowed. But for me, I don't have time for depression, anger, or for dying. I have the life I have left. I focus on the things that are important to me - my family - spending time with my sons and daughter, their children and my four great grandchildren. That I have three years or more to spend with them is dependent upon the effectiveness of modern medicine and the mercy of God.

In the end all I - we - can do is seek joy, seek purpose, and know that the pain of loss is also the measure of what/who is lost.