Allls well that ends well. A debt repaid, in full

[Peter Laidler]

All’s well that ends well. A debt repaid.
By Peter Laidler

All of the Army NCO’s reading this will understand the initials ‘ND”. It indicates a negligent discharge of a weapon, usually on the live firing ranges. Caused by poor weapon handling. Some say that the other reason is poor teaching – or worse, by harassed instructors being slack in passing those that really need more instruction.

Armourers of course, really have no excuse. They are taught their weapons in almost to an almost encyclopaedic depth. But occasionally…….

I was on Bulford ranges in the early months of 1966, soon after I’d arrived at Warminster to my first posting for my boy-service as an apprentice at Carlisle. I was a third class – but probationary second class Armourer.

I was accompanying our Corporal, John Sparrow and Sergeant Wilf Attrill that day with a couple of the rifle companies from The Welch Regiment with their L1A1 rifles and L4 Bren guns. If I remember correctly, during our apprenticeships we’d been taught by Harry Weekes on the old .303” Mk2 and 3 .303”: Brens. But here, in the real world we were using a similar version but in 7.62mm, called the L4 LMG. But a Bren is a Bren is a Bren.

Most ex apprentices will recall that we were taught ONE thing but when we got into the REAL world, it was something entirely different. Remember the Browning No2 pistol? We were taught it at Carlisle but I never saw one again until I got to Malaya a couple of years later. That’s because the army in the real world were still armed with .38” No2 revolvers. Anyway, this day fatherly Wilf and John had left me with the Bren crews as the Brens were just SO reliable that nothing ever really went wrong with them. I remember kindly Wilf reminding me that if there WAS a failure to just remember to check that the gunner hadn’t changed the change lever from SAFE to AUTO with the trigger squeezed.

But back to the story….. Suddenly there was a call for an Armourer as one of these magnificent Brens had jammed up. Not only had it jammed up, but it had jammed up BIG time. I strutted over to the firing point full of new found enthusiasm with my tool bag in han looking as though I knew what I was doing. Alas, looks can be deceptive and deception was the order of the day here I can tell you! I carefully peered down into the magazine well and into the bowels of the red-hot Bren. There I saw the piston extension and piston partially jammed back with the breech block jammed partially closed….., with a fired case stuck to the face of and a few other empty cartridges cases jammed solidly underneath the ejection slot in the piston extension – as though stuck between the partially closed ejection opening cover. If my memory or Harry Weeke’s instruction was correct, the ejection opening cover should be OPEN during firing.

If you’re a tad lost in the telling here, maybe you ought to get a cup of tea or better still, a largish glass of your favourite Scotch plus your copy of the Bren parts list…….

One of the gun crew called ‘Taffy…’ tome me in his totally undecipherable Welsh accent that ‘…..it’s shagged…’
Me. ‘..what’s happened then….?
Taffy ‘.. don’t ask me…., I got it like this….’ Which is the stock phrase when kit goes wrong.

I’ve learned that these and many other such are technical phrases used by all when describing faults to REME Armourers, Gun Fitters, Vehicle Mechs and Instrument Technicians. I lied by saying that I knew what it was (I didn’t….). I can’t clear it here, I’ll have to take it off the firing point. Nope, I didn’t have a clue what caused it. Much the same as I really didn’t know or understand how the trigger mechanism of the No8 rifle worked beyond a bit of white mans magic and learning it by rote to pass Stan Ayley’s 4th term exams.

With that, I took the totally jammed up Bren to the end of the firing point and while the rest of the rifle company and gun crews shot seven bells out of the butts, I sat, gun facing in the general direction of France, feet dangling into the empty fire trench while I set about trying to get the bloody thing apart while trying to pick out a few bits of broken and crushed shell cases out of it.

I tried the body locking pin – and that was jammed solid, I tried cocking it – and it was jammed solid. I tried pushing the breech block forwards – and that was solid. I tried sliding the jammed-up ejection opening cover forwards….., then back….. and that was solid. All this time, waving the gun around as I strutted my stuff. I sat and thought about it and decided that if I dislodged the broken/jammed up bits of cartridge case from under the piston extension….., jammed between the now beyond repair ejection opening cover, the breech block and the piston and piston extension would soon be free

It really was THAT simple……! So with gun upside down across my lap, feet dangling in the fire trench, I set about gently pounding seven bells out of the ejection opening cover with the brass, Drift, Armourers No4 and a hammer. Easing it forwards a bit, then back….., then forwards a bit and so on. While doing so I was able to pick the bits of crushed shell case bit by bit. Soon it would be clear and my range credibility (the 60’s equivalent of today’s cred would soon be rocketing skywards.

It wouldn’t be the only thing rocketing skywards either, I can tell you!

Just as I’d cleared the last pieces of broken and crushed shell casing from the bottom of the Bren, there was an almightly bang that distinctly sounded as though it came from the very gun that I’d been working on, straddled across my thighs. The brass drift went one way, the hammer another as the breech block, piston and piston extension reciprocated followed by another spent cartridge case that shot out of the bottom of the upside down Bren, whizzzzzing past my ear as it did. What the ……., er……. Dear o’ deary me I tried to exclaim but the words just wouldn’t come out. Those famous words uttered by the Mayor of Hiiroshima certainly did as I muttered ‘What the xxxxing hell was that. The range conducting staff were not exactly happy little rabbits either. We never did find the brass drift!

You’ve guessed it already of course. The subsequent investigation, kindly conducted by the sympathetic Wilf Attrill and John Sparrow and overseen by the AIA (the assistant inspector of armaments) from 27 Command Workshops decided that the ejection opening cover catch spring or catch had apparently failed during firing and this had allowed the cover to move to the rear with the piston extension. The first shell case had partially jammed and stopped the gun. The gunners had done the first ‘IA’ and fired again. The same thing happened again but this time they couldn’t do anything….., not even the ‘Cock gun, magazine off, new magazine on…..etc’ because it was jammed solid. Only this time they simply removed the magazine and called the Armourrer who didn’t identify that the round he could see half in the chamber was a LIVE round ready to ENTER the chamber and not a SPENT round that was partially ejected. So as the unsuspecting Armourer cleared the true spent/crushed bits of cartridge case, the breech block et-al was able to slide home……, chamber the LIVE round hanging half in and half out of the chamber and. Well, the rest is history

Things were a little easier in those days because there was no Company Commanders Orders or loss of many days pay. Yep….., things were a LOT easier then because the beautifully written glossy report I signed wasn’t remotely like anything I recall writing. And I certainly don’t remember telling them that I saw the wayward bullet strike the ground 50 yards or so down-range in front of me, well out of harms way.In fact I was so shaken up that I really didn’t remember anything.

The EME (the unit senior REME Officer) told me later that these facts had shown the care and attention to detail I’d shown during a particularly tricky stoppage that would have taxed an even more senior Armourer. I don’t know what planet he was on but he certainly wasn’t on the same one as me. Perhaps he was reading the glossy report.

Some weeks later I was called in to be told that the incident was a simple mechanical failure.

The AIA who ran the REME shooting team, of which I was also a keen member, appended the glossy report to the effect that I should not be chastised over the matter which had highlighted a serious potential problem….., blah blah blah and as a result, he brought forward my probationary second class confirmation by a month or so.

The matter only raised its head once more. Several weeks later, while spotting for me at an important inter-unit league shoot against RMCS, the AIA whispered into my ear ‘….don’t make a cock-up like that again. We might not be able to help you next time. Another thing…., you’re due to be posted soon – is there anywhere that you’d like to go?’

The posting came soon afterwards and off I went to Australia, New Zealand and Malaya for 3 years.


Yes, things were certainly different then. But it isn’t all bad news. Several years ago I was able to return the favour by helping out another young flustered REME fitter who had the misfortune to have what clearly looked to be a non-consequential ND on a range ‘somewhere in the South of England…’ while I was acting as the Range Conducting Officer. Without going into the gory details of his apparent ‘mechanical failure’ with his SA80, I was able to slide up to him several weeks later and whisper into his ear ‘….don’t make a cock-up like that again. We might not be able to help you next time

All's well that ends well as they say

* There's something that I forgot to mention..... While this event and subsequent enquiry was going on, the various 'higher-ups' were all commenting that in all honesty, the days of the mighty Bren, loved by all, except me of course, were numbered. And that this new fangled gun that they'd all heard about, the FN MAG 58 - that didn't even have a UK designation yet, was due in service and would be replacing the Bren and the old belt-fed Vickers. True, the Vickers went in 1968 (Gurkhas in Malaya/Borneo and Paratroopers in Aden) but little did they know that it would not be until 2002 that the very last Brens were finally withdrawn from the reserve Order of Battle. And with it, the very last vestiges of the Vickers too. The two part gauge for measuring throat erosion on the barrels. Not a lot of people know that...........

Information

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[ed skeels]

Great story!!!!!

[Daan Kemp]

Working with firearms, shooting a lot or handling them, it is only when you have an accidental discharge. Where the bullet stops will be a testimony to those who trained you and how well you assimilated that training.

[Woodsy]

The story shows the advantage of experience over theory!

[Peter Laidler]

Yiou're dead right Woody. The experience world OUTSIDE the apprentices classroom is certainly different than the theoretical world INSIDE the classroom.

The other point always worth remembering is that the experiences of the peacetime world, in Britain or, say, Germany was far different to the hustle and bustle of the active service worlds abroad.

For example..... I got called into the ASM's (the workshop Warrant Officer) office one Monday morning soon after my return from Malaya and Australia, because I'd accidentally taken one of the workshop Land Rover ignition keys back to my room and gone to sleep after a weekend duty. He was jumping up and down like a demented frog on fire for a while. That was until I told him, politely and firmly that I had just returned from almost 3 years active service - without a real break - and certainly no home leave, and in those conditions, our vehicles simply didn't have ignition keys, just push button starts. So it was a simple non consequential mistake that HE should tell the whinger who reported me. It made my blood boil and I decided there and then that if, in time, I could make life easier, I would. A lesson I learned from my ASM in New Zealand, one ASM Leo Francis.

[browningautorifle]

It made my blood boil and I decided there and then that if, in time, I could make life easier, I would.

Which was number one reason to take advancement courses to get some promotion...so you didn't have to listen to some of these dickheads any more.

[Flying10uk]

our vehicles simply didn't have ignition keys, just push button starts.

The ex-military Series 2A Land Rover Ambulance that my family use to own had a push button starter switch mounted on the bulkhead that you had to reach down to press and a key operated ignition on/off switch mounted in the middle of a military type light switch that had provision for normal vehicle lights and also a position for when driving in convoy.

I think that I still have the rear convoy light from it which got taken off at some point and never put back before the vehicle was sold. The light shone over the rear axil banjo end plate which was painted white. When the following vehicle was running in convoy, on sidelights only, hopefully it would see the rear convoy light and not run into the back.

[CINDERS]

Peter your talk of an AD brought back memories of when I was shooting clay targets (Trap) with a semi-auto 12Ga I used to reload my own shotshells.
I was using an SKB 5 shot S/A as I could not afford an U/O like most had at the gun club, anyway I had reloaded allot of shells and was testing them for fit in the chamber tight rounds that stopped the bolt or hard to chamber were left for the pattern board.
So the proper way to do it was safety on place a shotshell onto the lift plate ensure weapon is pointed down hit the slide release and all things being equal the bolt will chamber the round smoothly you then eject the round and place in the good to go box!

This gets tiresome when doing a few 000 at a time so brains trust here all of 18 decided we will expedite the procedure and do it like this, the shotgun was recoil operated by a spring over the cartridge magazine tube therefore if I loaded 4 in the tube one on the lifter then chamber the first round good.
So with the safety on flip the fully loaded shotgun over muzzle up butt on the ground grab the barrel both hands and pump the barrel as if being fired I could work the 5 rounds out in about the same time it took to do one.
It worked a treat I ensured at no point I was over the muzzle and with the safety on felt quite confident my improvised procedure to check round & action functionality was quite within a safe margin I did get a few hard to chamber rounds and these caused no issue.

I'd done about 4 mag fulls when a strange thing occurred I had a shell half out the ejection port with another live round on the lifter holding the full ejection of that cartridge out so here is where it gets really interesting.
I had the shotgun as said on its butt vertical the bottom facing me easier to pump the barrel down so having my Rt hand @2" from the muzzle I leant forward but kept my head away from the nasty end of the shotgun but even so my Rt ear was @ level with my Rt hand.
Now I had the safety on and it worked I knew this, so left hand I grabbed the half out shell and pulled it free at which point the lifter popped up with the fresh shell the bolt slammed forward as it is supposed to with the barrel in battery and the shotgun discharged!
I can say a 12 gauge shotgun going off @2" from your ear in a closed door bedroom makes quite the noise, Mum & Dad flew up to find me on the bed laughing my head of soothing them that their youngest sons brain matter was not all over the 10' ceiling.

I was using #6 shot as the barrel was full choked so the ceiling had a wad sized hole in it, I had to repair the tin roof temporarily, when I got up there the hole was about 5" in diameter.
I never did that again, why the gun went off my gunsmith and I figured maybe I cycled the action far enough to partially eject a round and have one on the lifter but not to have the firing pin reset so had given myself a good old slam fire.
So if you want to try and improve A) Your hearing B) Room ventilation try that stunt for sheer noise about an hour later I was shaking like a leaf so rode down to my G/F's place in Fremantle as she was a nurse and to sooth my nerves it was yeah a bl**dy scary thing.

[muffett.2008]

AD's don't mean a thing if you are a top gun.
BISAM '87 in Brunei, weapons check prior to the start of the Pistol Matches.
The Indonesian Team were lined up, top shooter in their team just finished having his weapon inspected, action was to rear so he inserted a magazine to ease the action.......just missed his big toe, took the edge off his boot.
Of course we and several other teams lodged a disqualification protest, but he must have been something....besides stupid, got away with it.
Never did find out why he had loaded magazines in his gear off the firing point.

[CINDERS]

We had a guy in Perth DSQ'd ripped the wheel gun out of the holster a 357Mag and promptly blew a wadcutter hole through his Rt foot so a general consensus at our H/gun club is he may have had it cocked with it in his holster a pretty naughty thing to do.

Another person (Club Captain) in our club had a HK 9mm his wife was shooting and it went full auto on her the last round went through the tin in the roof on the firing line at 25m!
I asked him straight up front have you been playing around with the sear to which he said no it must be a dirty pistol, I have never heard of a S/A pistol that has gone full auto by being dirty gun was packed away and it was sometime before it came back to the range (The gun that is)!

Obviously Muffett there were undertones as they could not have their top shooter eliminated makes a mockery of the rules should have been Dq'd straight up end of story.