What is your favorite idiotic story from the OLD board?

[Griff Murphey]

My personal favorite was the guy who posted a picture of a sporterized No. 4 Lee Enfield asking if it was an M-1. I kind of miss those goofy ones like the guys who couldn't figure out how to load an M-1 as the cartridges were not feeding into the gun... OOOPS! Doh! They needed CLIPS to hold the rounds.... Sometimes this board seems a bit dead but at least you do not have to steer around the Spam or catfights.

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[JimF in CT]

Not idiotic but somewhat humerous . . . .

Years ago one of the young junior shooters, brand-new to the HP team, was scoring for me during a match. He was seated about 15 feet behind me, at the scoring table.

When I fired the last round of the clip from my M1, he rushed up to me all excited and fearful, asking me if the rifle had broken!!

He rushed up so fast, it startled me!

Turns out, he thought the rifle had "exploded" when he saw parts (the clip) flying through the air!

I realised right then-and-there just how OLD I am!

After-all, doesn't EVERYONE know how the 'ole M1 works??? --Jim

[John Kepler]

My personal favorite was the guy who posted a picture of a sporterized No. 4 Lee Enfield asking if it was an M-1.

IIRC, the guy kept getting his boxers in a bunch when guys kept telling him it was a British Enfield because it was a Savage lend-lease rifle marked "US Property", and if it was "US Property", it just HAD to be a Garand!

"We define thinking as integrating data and arriving at correct answers. Look around you. Most people do that stunt just well enough to get to the corner store and back without breaking a leg. If the average man thinks at all, he does silly things like generalizing from a single datum. He uses one-valued logics. If he is exceptionally bright, he may use two-valued, 'either-or' logic to arrive at his wrong answers. If he is hungry, hurt, or personally interested in the answer, he can't use any sort of logic and will discard an observed fact as blithely as he will stake his life on a piece of wishful thinking. He uses the technical miracles created by superior men without wonder or surprise, as a kitten accepts a bowl of milk. Far from aspiring to higher reasoning, he is not even aware that higher reasoning exists, yet he classes his own mental process as being of the same sort as the genius of an Einstein. Man is not a rational animal; he is a rationalizing animal. For explanations of a universe that confuses him, he seizes onto numerology, astrology, hysterical religions, and other fancy ways to go crazy. Having accepted such glorified nonsense, facts make no impression on him, even if at the cost of his own life. One of the hardest things to believe is the abysmal depth of human stupidity." R.A. Heinlein

[Danny]

My favorite stories have to be the ones that center around Gun Show "truths" or "wisdoms" that people have put here for our viewing pleasure. I can't remember many of them, but I know that they were hilarious, mostly because I think that the people telling them really believed in what they were telling. One that I do remember concerned a story about a Garand that had Proof (P) mark on the stock. It was said that this Patton's rifle, or one of the rifles that had served with Patton. I can't remember it exactly, but I think you know the kind of stories that I'm talking about.

Danny

[Snafu]

The one that I remember was a post that disappeared with no ending

Guy posted photos of A Gas Trap he claimed to have found
Also posted photos of ammo crates he clained to have found with it
They were from same time period

Very nice stuff
Post was only up for a few hours

Do not know the story

[Devil Dog]

There was a guy who posted that he broke the front legs off of TWO M1 receivers while trying to remove barrels. He was using his new CMP receiver wrench on the "side" of the receivers and was asking what he was doing wrong. I hope that is not a common mistake.

[John R.]

Now THAT IS odd.Only Gloria or one of the "monitors" could delete a post.

My question would be WHY ?? Unless 9 thousand four hunnert and ninety eleven guys blew the bandwidth trying to track down the poster to offer him fifty-five bucks for the rifle and a nickel a round for the ammo.

I actually MISS a good flame war once in a while.Sorta livens things up a bit.That dude who can't spell was usually good at initiating them(snicker,snicker,snicker).Gloria's"naughty language" was another fun thing.IF your vocabulary was up to it ;you could REALLY have some fun slagging some fool with dazzlingly outrageous verbal brickbats.A small example would be to quote that Old Parisian Taxi Driver slur that goes"mes compliments a mademoiselle votre mere"(my compliments to your UN-married mother) in other words he is an illegitimate child(i.e., a bas*ard) or to refer to someone as a "microcephalic" or perhaps a congenital idiot etc.One could have a LOT of fun with that silly program and send a legion of guys to google or scrambling to find their Webster's(IF indeed they owned one).Only problem was that the programme was sporadic and very VERY poorly written.

Ah well,"sic transit gloria mundi"(Latin)JR

[Mike Haas]

Now THAT IS odd.Only Gloria or one of the "monitors" could delete a post.

My question would be WHY ?? Unless 9 thousand four hunnert and ninety eleven guys blew the bandwidth trying to track down the poster to offer him fifty-five bucks for the rifle and a nickel a round for the ammo.

I actually MISS a good flame war once in a while.Sorta livens things up a bit.That dude who can't spell was usually good at initiating them(snicker,snicker,snicker).Gloria's"naughty language" was another fun thing.IF your vocabulary was up to it ;you could REALLY have some fun slagging some fool with dazzlingly outrageous verbal brickbats.A small example would be to quote that Old Parisian Taxi Driver slur that goes"mes compliments a mademoiselle votre mere"(my compliments to your UN-married mother) in other words he is an illegitimate child(i.e., a bas*ard) or to refer to someone as a "microcephalic" or perhaps a congenital idiot etc.One could have a LOT of fun with that silly program and send a legion of guys to google or scrambling to find their Webster's(IF indeed they owned one).Only problem was that the programme was sporadic and very VERY poorly written.

Ah well,"sic transit gloria mundi"(Latin)JR

Imagine the fact that I once doubted that the " second coming" would arrive during my lifetime! Thanks John...

[dryheat]

Thats the one I was going to mention! Not one but two ruined receivers. Yow! There have been some real eye openers over the years.

[Rick B]

Well there were a few guys who if asked how to button a shirt they could write 40 paragraphs. Yep they were good at ripping people apart all the while making sure most didn't read it thru as you would be yawning at how they made themselves look so great and others look like useless turds.

There were the few on the carbine board who would come in and tell you about there Granddads carbine he carried and it would be a Plainfield from the 70's. Boy would they get made and tell everyone they didn't know a thing about Carbines after that.


I also got a kick out of those who were beat in a argument and had to bring up spelling as a last resort to win hahahahahah. Rick B