From an AARP forum

[oscars]

Questions and Answers from an AARP Forum

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done you'll have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's *** all the way to Egypt."

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem. Retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these!"

SMILE, You've still got your sense of humor, RIGHT?

Information

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[Badger]

Hey, I'm 62 so I can relate ...

Regards,
Badger

[Tired Retired]

Geez, that's what I got to look forward to????????????????????

[Bill Hollinger]

Doug, I'm 48 and can relate!

[gunner]

MMhhh, made a bad mistake. My basement is ready !!! Any advices what to do ?

Regards

Gunner

[45 Caliber]

I have been trying out the small house out back but the Rottweiler snores and the smell at times is unbelivable. Is it too late to get back in her good graces?

[stonewall56]

MMhhh, made a bad mistake. My basement is ready !!! Any advices what to do ?

Regards

Gunner

Get wood working tools and make furniture!

[Badger]

I have been trying out the small house out back but the Rottweiler snores and the smell at times is unbelivable. Is it too late to get back in her good graces?

.....



Regards,
Badger

[oscars]

A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.' The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

The Lord said, 'That request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.' The biker thought about it for a long time.

Finally, he said, 'Okay, I wish that I, and all men, could understand our wives and girlfriends; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says "nothing's wrong", and how I can make a woman truly happy.'

And the Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?'

[gunner]

Get wood working tools and make furniture!

Hey what a good idea ! But, is it possible that your basement is also ready?

Regards

Gunner