A Centurion Story (Revenge, extracted in full) - by Peter Laidler

[tankhunter]

Nice one Pete! I have had similar expiriences early on in My Career. I was a Vehicle Mech then, long before I went Armourer. There was this 2nd Lt who strutted around the tank park like he owned the place at a certain Engineer regt. That was my very first posting as a young & inexperienced Craftsman you understand.

Well, aforementioned 2nd Lieuy was a pain in the Ar..Erm, Buttocks most of the time. I worked outside a lot on 432's APCs for my last six months before converting to armourer trade. This eminently proud & strutting Mess Warrior. Would see me working & insist that I pulled myself away from what ever task I was persuing in the course of my Daily duties. & do a small task on one of HIS squadrons apcs. This happened frequently, & dispite my polite protestions. He continued this course of rank abuse of his position. As he explained, an order's an order! I didn't particularly like my ASM who ran our L.A.D at the time. So complaining to him I really didn't want to do!.....

So I had a 'Brainwave' I waited till the supervising 2nd Lieuy had had all his squardorns APCs all nicely painted up & shiney for a CO's Annual inspection. VERY close to this wonderous occasion unfolding.
I took each APC out of the camp rear gate directly onto a Bundeswher Training Area that we were allowed to rest vehicles on. After all, I had in the interests of Safety & Battleworthyness. Taken it upon myself to 'Adjust'each vehicles Steering Unit. & Engineering Regulations quite clearly stated tha, you 'Had to test the vehicle to ensure that the brake bands did not drag or bind after adjustment'........Ther it was in black & white......

Aforementioned 2nd Leiuy was strangley outraged & a 'little upset' when he saw 10 filthy & mud covered APCs standing on the Tank Park dripping filth everywhere. He went hell for leather in my face, informing me that he was going to report me to the Beloved ASM (Artificer Sergeant Major for those not accustomed to Military Jargon) for this! I kept my cool & stuck to quoting my eng regs to the 'Lovely' 2nd Leuiy!

Well, before long I was summoned to the ASMs office & it came as no surprise to Me. The ASM listened to what I had to say & had to agree that I was correct on the Eng regs bit. But as an Officer 'Han A Gentleman of upstanding a Position. Within the Military Community had reported me. he couldn't be wrong of course!....Someone had to be Blamed for the state of the vehicles & as I was at the lowest point of the foodchain. It HAD to be MY fault, so the 'Hupstandin 'Hofficer & 'gentleman'' couldn't be held responsible. even though the Vehicles were under HIS jurisdiction!.......

The upshot of it was: He got away with blaming me, I was in the right as per Eng Regs. But, I SHOULD have asked HIS permission first, apparently! Because after all. This Fine Upstanding Leader of Men, could NOT be seen to be in the wrong being responsible for some dirty filthy Tin Boxes on tracks, could he?........

So I got away from being charged & ended up with a weeks 'Dirty Jobs' in the L.A.D (Light Aid Detatchment =Workshops) after working hours. How could I extract my revenge & restore my position of being 'Superior' to this 'Gentleman' who commanded wedgeheads?....

Well it came in like this. I was fully aware that one of the problems we encountered in Service was. Because vehicle sat around pretty much static for 6-7 months of the year on the Tank Park. Things shrank, got stuck, partialy seized Etc. & one of the things 432s liked doing on excersise's was blowing radiators. So it was Always an advantage to have a spare Rad or three secreted away in the back of the section fitters sheds. I duly demanded a Rad here & ther over 6 months. They were HUGE & VERY heavy, due to being mostly manufactured from Brass & that!......

Well, upon me opening each Rad in turn from it's sturdy Transit Box. It was 'Most annoying' that the heavy duty screwdriver I used to pry off the lids. 'Mysteriously' slipped each time & punched a BIG hole through each rad, thus rendering them unserviceable!........Rad's were put to one side to be repaired 'when we had some spare time'. Which NEVER happened of course, due to the delicate touch of hand. Unleashed by 'Wedgeheads' who were hardly ballerina trained in the handling of equipment. Thus breaking equipment & constantly needing the Loving Attention of the R.E.M.E Tradesmen!

After a suitable period of time had elapsed, the Rads were loaded on a 3 Tonner & I took them to an out of Town Scrapmerchant. Because we needed the space. & also it wouldn't be cricket that valuable REME Tradesmen hurt themselves tripping over Rads of knocking them over on someone!.......
A Goodly sum of German Deutschemarks were duly handed over to yours truly. The HP on my car was completed, & a trip to the main N.A.F.F.I resulted in three weekends being totally unrecalled & Unaccounted for. Due to my Fitter section being extremely intoxicated due to the consumption of a VAST quantity of Alcohol intake!

Result: 'Hofficer's' Pride & Leader of Men status in Place, L.A.D Wokrshop Nice & clean & tidy. ASM appearing to uphold complaint of Senior 'Hofficer' & 'Old Boy' Network intact! Poor Old Lowly REME Vehicle Mechanic. Apprantly 'Chasitised' & put in Place?....(But secretly, NOT again taken off duty jobs in preference to 'another' 'Hofficers' Priority. Hire Purchase on Own car completed. & a Lovely Beano on the Beer from the proceeds. 'Of a Gratefull Nation')............Another of Many tales I could tell you, as I KNOW Peter could as well! LOL.