I visited Marine Corps Headquarters yesterday (PHOTOS)

[Jim K]

Gee, Louis, the Marines have really come down in the world if that is their HQ. Last time I was at USMC HQ in Arlington, they had a real building with walls and floors (and some very good-looking BAMS). They even had a new flag.

Jim

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[Louis of PA]

Gee, Louis, the Marines have really come down in the world if that is their HQ. Last time I was at USMC HQ in Arlington, they had a real building with walls and floors (and some very good-looking BAMS). They even had a new flag.

Jim

Jim, you are clearly not current on the recent budget cuts handed down from across the Potomac.

Paragraph one mandates that most Marine Corps buildings be turned over to the underprivileged.

Further down it mentions that your Arlington facility will now serve as the new Acorn World Headquarters.

Paragraph three specifies that no new construction for the Corps will exceed one-story in height nor include flooring.

Paragraph four calls for adoption of cap & ball weapons and cutlasses as are available from various museums or that may be seized from collectors. The current inventory of cartridge weapons will be provided to third world countries in need.

Percussion caps will only be issued upon specific order of the president or his designated representative, and weapons may only be fired when a team composed of government & ACLU lawyers, EPA and UN officials is present and in agreement.

Weapons that produce excessive smoke will result in a Letter of Reprimand from Al Gore. You know what that would do to a Marine's career.

And of course, PETA will monitor all Corps activities that could possibly cause anxiety to animals.

On the bright side, I think revival of the leather collars will look pretty sharp. I'm not so sure about the headgear, but generally, the traditional style uniforms will look great as Marines man the rigging in the wind powered, fuel efficient, wooden hulled ships that are scheduled to replace those metal hull oil guzzlers the Navy uses.